Maybe.

I was sitting in the shade of a cindered tree.
Wondering.
Was it burnt by humans or struck by an unforgiving lightning?
I was surely hope for the latter.
One lightning strike on a non human means, one soul is save.

And enormous cloud slowly approaching.
The word "lightning never strikes twice" calms me a bit.

I saw a flock of  birds chirping.
It seems that they are reminiscing about their day.
About their lives, maybe.
About how one flew across Atlantic just to find it's spouse here, maybe.
About how one managed to outsmart a much larger predator, maybe.
Or, just about how one managed to fill it's stomach today.....maybe.
Maybe.

"Maybe I should get going."
"Maybe this place was not meant for me."
"Maybe there is something else for me out there."
I was about to get on my feet when suddenly the enormous cloud starts to discharge it's content.
Somehow, I managed to lit my last coffin nail.
With my nicotine laced soul, I walked along the road.
Still wondering.
Is it true that "lightning never strikes twice"?

Pelik.

Pelik.

Aku berhenti berjalan.

Namun, bayangku terus menapak meninggalkanku.

Pelik.

Aku berhenti bercakap.

Namun, terdengar suara menidakkan kataku.

Pelik.

Aku berhenti melihat.

Namun, gambaran itu jelas dalam kotak mindaku.

Pelik.

Aku berhenti mencuba.

Namun, putus asa tidak wujud dalam vokabulariku.

Pelik.

Aku berhenti disini.

Namun, kelihatan aku bermula di situ.

Pelik. 

Aku berhenti menjadi aku.

Bayangku masih tetap menunggu.

Tiada suara mengiyakan kataku.

Tiada lagi gambaranmu dalam kotak mindaku.

Tiada vokabulari yang dapat menjelaskan putus asaku.

Aku yang bermula di sana, akan tamat di situ.

Namun, aku yang berhenti menjadi aku, masih termanggu-manggu. Entah apa yang aku tunggu.

Pelik bukan?